I Thought Changing My Body Would Change My Life...

Ask yourself this... how much more of your life are you willing to give to your body you'll never be satisfied with?

With an eating disorder there isn't one goal, after that goal there is just more each time. You tell yourself you'll be happy when you reach the next goal then you get there and suddenly it's not enough so you set another and another until one day you realise you've spent years chasing a version of yourself that never existed. Years spent avoiding photos, years spent at war with the person staring back at you in the mirror and for what? Life was happening the whole time and i promise you won't be wishing you'd spent more time hating your body. You'll wish you'd spent more time living.

For years I believed my body was the reason i wasn't happy, if i could just change it everything else would fall into place. So i spent years chasing a version of myself that always seemed just out of reach and the closer i got, the further away happiness felt. I missed out on so much because i was waiting, waiting until i looked different. There were photos i didn't want to be in, outfits i never wore and memories i wasn't fully present for because i was too busy thinking about my body. At the time all this felt normal, i thought i was fixing a problem but looking back i wasm't fixing anything. I put my life on hold and that's what eating disorders do so well.

If you're struggling with body image right now please know you're not alone, i know how convincing eating disorder thoughts can be. I know how easy it is to believe that life will somehow begin once your body changes but you deserve to experience your life now, not when you reach a certain weight. Your worth has never been determined by your body and neither has your ability to live.

Please don't wait for permission to start living.

With Love, Niomi 🤎