What If It Goes Wrong? The Question Anxiety Loves To Ask...

Anxiety has a way of making you believe that every worst case scenario is just around the corner, it whispers things that feel so real that you stop questioning them. It tells you not to go, not to try, not to take the risk and it's not because it hates you it's because it thinks it's protecting you.

The problem is that anxiety doesn't care about your happiness, it cares about certainty and life just doesn't come with ceertainty. On Sunday, I was reminded of that, lately I have struggled with travel anxiety especially when travelling somewhere unfamiliar or further away from home. The closer it got to leaving the louder my anxiety became, my mind was racing, my chest felt tight and every part of me wanted to cancel.

On the journey there I had a massive panic attack, I just wanted to turn around and go home, I wanted my anxiety to stop. If you've struggled with anxiety you'll know exactly what I mean, sometimes it isn't the thing you're scared of it's the feeling of anxiety itself. The panic, the uncertainty, the feeling that you can't cope but I kept going. It wasn't because I felt brave or because I suddenly felt confident. I kept going whilst feeling anxious and that changed everything.

The thing anxiety never tells you is what happens afterwards, it doesn't tell you about the memories you'll make, the laughter, the moments you'll be proud of or the confidence you'll build. It only ever focuses on the fear, yet when I got home that evening I wasn't thinking about the panic attack... I was thinking about how proud I felt because I did that. i had refused to let anxiety make my decision for me and honestly, I had the best time!

Anxiety will always try to convince you that staying where it's safe is the answer but some of the best moments of your life exist on the other side of fear and whilst anxiety loves asking "what if it goes wrong?" I've learned something far more important... "What if it goes right?"

With Love, Niomi 🤎

View The Recovery Journals